Rough Draft #0.9

       A blank screen stands before me with my thoughts heavily under tense strain, and pressure. Sitting on a wooden chair by an antic desk, I stare at the computer with a look of great distress. For what seems like the hundredth time I am typing yet another essay, but this time it’s a bit personal. In basic retrospect I’ve been assigned to write how my opinion on writing, or reading was shaped by any early memory I might recall. With that in mind I over think it all as usual, and decided to start with a question to ponder with. “Why can’t I enjoy writing with a clear sense of mind like I do with reading?” I said thinking out loud. Letting my mind wonder with that question, I opened one of cabinets the in the desk for some inspiration. Inside laid one of my first year books dating back to 2001, so I opened it up for nostalgia purposes. Looking through it the pages brought a moment of inspiration, and whisked me back 14 years ago to my early second month of school ever. I start to rapidly type on my keyboard.

          It’s almost as if it were a life time ago, but I remember it vividly. The sun shined a shade darker during that early autumn morning of October 2001. Colorful leaves were fluttering away with the slightly chilly breeze as I got off my plain yellow bus on Lynnhaven Road in on suburban Virginia Beach, Virginia. I was an average sized 51/2 year old in dark blue sweat pants, and jacket with a rather plain haircut with the bangs cut straight across which I would find very funny now. I was also a bit hyper but that’s beside the point. The bricked school building of old Brookwood Elemetary laid before me like a clash of two worlds in my younger mind. On one hand I was thinking with glee about playing games with my classmates, but on the other hand I felt a bit intimidated by our teacher. Let’s just call her Ms. Tisk for the sake of foreshadowing.

          As I entered the building I passed through a tall tan hallway like I have been for the past month sense I started. It was swarming with excitement like a hive of bees with the amount of teachers guiding children to their intended classrooms, and there amongst them was my first teacher Ms. Tisk. She was perhaps a little over 5 feet in height with a slightly red toned contrasting light tanned skin, a little pouchy circumference (body), dark deep blue eyes, short dark brown hair, an unwelcoming expression, and carried a stern southern accent. Her expressions always seemed angry, mean, and full of hate to me as she gathered us around to enter the tall door leading into the classroom.

          The classroom itself was setup the same as always as I entered the room second-to-last.  Bicycles hanged from the far side of the room while the right side contained a dark green chalkboard with the poster of the alphabet stapled above it. Standing before the board was a high chair facing a wide royal blue mat where the children were sitting crisscross upon as I joined them with Ms. Tisk following closely from behind as she made her way towards the chair.

          The class was in session, and my classmates quickly “shhh’d,” one another into silence. The attention for the most part was on the teacher as she took attendance with her still icy glance. Then proceeded to have us play a simple fun word game with cards, followed by pronouncing the words through sounding them out aloud to each other. I remember the words were something like ‘of, it, get, when, can, father, mother, brother, the,’ and so on. The words themselves were easy to repeat aloud aside from my slight speech problem that part was easy at the time. Each card had a curious number in the upper right corner ranging from 1 to 10 for each of the 10 words. It was enjoyable in till I heard on the lines of, “Children! Go to your assigned desk, and have a pencil in hand,” Ms. Tisk had ordered. I neglected to mention that her personality was a bit authoritarian which is another way of saying she expect obedience.

          Why was she a kindergarten teacher? To this day I still don’t know, but continuing.

          The small desks were encompassing the blue mat as I took my seat with my back facing the bicycles. As everyone else made it to their seats Ms. Tisk passed around what was to be my first spelling test, or probably my first test of any kind really. Nevertheless she explained what it was, how I had to keep my voice at a near whisper, and that I had to finish it correctly before I could join my classmates in the cafeteria for a midday meal. The test itself was labeled 1 through 10 like the cards, and like the cards I had to match that word I saw with the number.

          Slowly I was making process on the words, but there was a tad bit of trouble. I kept getting distracted by little things like the sound of Ms. Tisk’s footsteps traversing the room, and the words didn’t come out quite right in my head, so I tried to silently pronounce them to myself. “Oo-fah,” I softly muttered as I put down ‘uf’ for the word ‘of’ for number two. At that point it had seemed to Ms. Tisk that I was strictly trying to disrupt her class, or have others cheat off me because she quickly tried to silence me. She approached my desk, and scanned my paper with a look of disgust at my spelling then gave me a warning saying to “use my inside voice to properly write out the words” or else I’d be “put into the corner”. That didn’t help much at all considering I was already struggling just trying to remember the words.

          

          

Five Characteristic Features

1.) A Clearly Identified Event: What happened? Who was involved?
Teachers are the door ways to certain forms of education. They are the ones who will either make us find a passion in a subject, or make the subdject something to dread about. What happened was that one of my earliest teachers disturbed a part of writing for me, and ever since that moment I've always looked at written work with relentless doubt. What happened was a woman by the name of Ms. Roberson somewhat of an english, or perhaps spelling teacher for me. For you see at the time writing out sentences was slightly difficult, but somehow reading numbers was easy. Continuing, I was practicing my spelling one day, and I was having a difficult time trying to spell words from memory. I tried to seek help from Ms. Robinson, but she snapped at me instead, and told me to do it till I got it all right. Not to tell the entire story, but what had happened had crushed my confidence in my abilities to write.
2.) A Clearly Described Setting: When and where did it happen?
I want to say it happened in early September of 2002. The sun was beatingly bright upon Brookwood Elementary in Virginia Beach, Virginia. The school itself was one-story, composed of bricks, a parking lot, and faced the outlet mall across Lynnhaven Rd.
The events however took place in a pale shampan colored like portalible surrounded by the structure.
Inside the walls were painted the color of wheat with desks scattered around to form the shape of a lope-sided circle, and a larger desk in the far right corner of the room.
3.)Vivid, Descriptive Details: What makes the story come alive?
I'll be describing what atmosphere the room carried with the teacher, and students. Providing details on my thoughts at the time, the teachers somewhat cruel directness that day, and what the toll was from that moment on.
4.) A Consistent Point of View: Who's telling the story?
The story will be told by what I experienced, and how I am able to remember it.
5.) A Clear Point: Why does the story matter?
I can't provide a clear answer for this, but I want to say it's to make clear of something to myself, and to others. Truth is I have a love/hate sort of relationship when it comes to writing. It's just in this particular time in my life when I was being introduced to the concept of it I was shattered. It was the first time I really felt like I failed myself, and had had felt shame for being useless at that moment. This story matters to me because reveals my harsh beginnings with the forming of words into sentences, and how some of those events still have an effect on writing with me today.

In Class Lab: Literacy Narrative

1.)    “The water continued to rise quickly, and the water pressure was so strong that water spurted out of the kitchen sink like a fountain.” (Page 130, Paragraph 1)

2.)    “I have no idea what to make of that ominous ‘if’ in the last sentence.” (Page 119, Paragraph 5)

3.)    “Greater by far than the responsibility to comrades in arms is responsibility to friends, family, and self, responsibility to the one life of us gets to live.” (Page 121, Paragraph 2)

“…she woke to find that her feet and the sleeping bag were soaking wet, and there was standing

water throughout her house.” (Page 129, Paragraph 2)

4.)    A List of Possible Topics:

·         How my first English destroyed my joy of writing at the beginning.

·         The difficulty of creating a historical story in U.S. History.

·         How I’ve managed to make my essays flow.

·         How my 11^th grade teacher helped me process, and make clear of what I am trying to say.

5.)    PURPOSE: I think I’ll choose my first topic as my story. Why? I feel there is something that I deeply need to remember of why it is that writing has always been a struggle, and from who generated these problems from the start. I want to share why it that writing has me so torn, and full of doubt whenever I use a word, or phrase. Why it is that events in my early childhood prevent me from truly enjoying to write out paragraphs in essays, or into stories.

6.)    AUDIENCE: I doubt they would have similar stories. I would need to fully express the reason why writing has always been a curse for me, and why it is I’m so torn with it. I’ll need them to try to understand my perspective through what was happening in that timeline.

 7.)    STANCE: I want to express a serious attitude, and wish to be a bit self-critical. I want the reader to see me as driven, but deprived of some enjoyment.

 8.)    MEDIA/DESIGN: My narrative will be in print, and for others to read on my blog if they wish.

 9.)    What do I see? I see a pale shampan portable out in the open surrounded by the elementary school’s (Brookewood Elementary in Virginia) bricked maroon structure from all sides on a rather bright sunny day. Inside is a room full of small desks with a larger desk in the corner for the teacher. The teacher was strong with authority, rather impatient, and submissive from what I recall.

10.) What do you hear? I hear a fan blowing in cool air into the mildly warm room. The teacher is telling me to stay in till I finish all my spelling work, and only then can I proceed to eat lunch with my other classmates. As an hour passed I recall upper classmen entering the room as I continued to work. After a while one of them helped me while the teacher left the room.

11.) What do you smell? The air contained a stale chemical odor from when the janitors might have cleanse the floor, and the smell of food from the cafeteria.

12.) How and what do you feel? I feel a sense of dread, and constant ADD/ADHD. I want to move, and ran, but am slightly terrified by my teachers constant barking commands without much assistance. I am confused, lost, and struggling with the current assignment in front of me. My writing is very well done for a 1^st grader, but my mind was always racing onto something else.

13.) What do you taste? I don’t taste anything. I am however very hungry at this point.

14.) Describe each person? 
Ms. Robinson- As far as background goes she was my teacher for a short while. She was lean, had dark skin, almost no hair, and carried a kind of confidence, or authority about her. Her voice made candy bitter when she is losing her patience on something, or someone. She had a southern accent mixed witha hint of something I couldn't put my finger on... French perhaps? Anyway I remember her eyes always seeming black to me as a child because she seemed kind of rough on me.
Child Me- Thinking back I use to be way different. I was a small 6 year old boy with a few teeth missing, and a straight-cut across the bang hairstyle. I was very hyper, and my mind was always dancing carelessly, but I was always respectful. The majority of what I wore was meant for comfort, so it was either sweat pants, or shorts with a T-shirt, and shoes.
15.) Recall
Me: *sounding out words* "Oovef! Of! U. F. Of!"
Ms. Robinson: Shhhhh! You're disturbing the rest of your classmates."
Me: *raises hand, and immediately talks* "Ms. Robinson can you help me? I'm not really sure if my spellings right, or if this makes much sense."
Ms. Robinson: "I've already helped you with spelling a word, but now you need to figure this one out on your own. The world doesn't revolve around you."
Me: "But Ms. Roberson-"
Ms. Robinson: "No buts, and don't talk back to your teachers!"
*entire class is watching, and I feel a slight twinge of embarrassment*
Me: "Ms. Roberson I really don't understand-"
Ms. Roberson: "Jacob, in till you can completely finish your work correctly you may not eat lunch with your fellow classmates."
16.) Summarize the action: Before I would come into class I would be carelessly wandering the halls, and my eyes always scanning walls on other classmates work. I walked in a rather speedy, but with a little hop out of habit. I firmly held a pencil in my hand, and a backpack on my back as I.

Comparing Definitions of Rhetorical

         As I was reading other people’s definitions on what they believed rhetoric thinking, and acting is I realized we all had a similar idea of what it encompassed. However I came across ideas I neglected to use in my own definition. Upon reading another’s definition I discovered that they described using rhetoric is somewhat on an ‘art style’ in communicating in a thought out perspective with others. Never once did I even think of describing this type of writing as an art, but when I think about it, it does hold a sense of beauty in words for the audience a person is trying to reach out to. Among other things I didn’t mention clearly that one needs to know what the genre is, what context is necessary, the purpose of it, and what medium or design is sufficient. In this way it corresponds to what I’ve already said about knowing ones audience, and then listening or learning what the view point of that audience has on that given subject. Then after by understanding the opposing sides you could mold your own effective answer to communicate, and possibly winning over those sides with your arguments.

            In the end I realized if I had a bit more time trying to figure out rhetorical thinking, and acting I would have provided more detail on my own definition, but nevertheless I learned a great deal through others perspective. In a way of its own it was rhetorical thinking by viewing others ideas on what it meant compared to my own!

Acting and Thinking Rhetorically

          What do I believe the definition of acting, and thinking rhetorically is? What I've learned, and learned to believe is that acting rhetorically is the power to convey an effective voice when stating something like a report, debate, or article. While thinking rhetorically is the act of listening to others, trying to understand their ideas, and processing that into bettering one’s own stance on the idea. It is the ability to try to truly research further into a topic, so that you are well informed of what it actually is, and then try to understand why others in the audience have different perspectives on that topic then form your own arguments based on the information you've obtained. Speaking of audience, another piece of acting rhetorically is knowing who you’re presenting to, and how you want them to react to the knowledge you've researched. For example let’s say you were in an interview with the president of a major corporation compared to sharing a new epic story book to a classroom. When trying to present yourself to the corporation one would persuade them by sharing their experiences in a serious, but informative tone. In this case you would want the corporation to believe that you’re a well-mannered, driven, and desirable man (or woman) for the job! With the story book a person would again be informative, but express some enthusiasm on why the story is an epic read for the class. In this scenario you would want the audience to feel awed, entertained, and interested to read the book themselves.

            It's through knowing our audience, understanding our topic, letting our imaginations manifest, and using the right tone that makes ones words powerful whether they're biased, or unbiased. It is through rhetorically thinking, and acting that captures readers, listeners, journalists, bosses, professors, or even an individuals family. Then creating their own opinion from the facts they've gathered from you, and stating why that is to the audience they want come across to next.

            

In Class Lab: Rhetorical Situations---Narratives

Rhetorical Situations---Narratives

2. We all agreed that Lydia's story was inspirational, and showed triumph and bravery, as she was very determined to stay alive.  Lydia showed her strength of will and what it can do.  We disagreed on the purpose of the article, some of us believed it was written to inspire, others thought it was written to show the experience of the victims of the storm.  Another difference was that some of us felt that we were different characters in the story.  One of us thought we were Lydia, another felt as if they were the interviewer.  The third felt as though they were looking through a window at Lydia's life.  We all agreed the story had an impact on us that made us empathize with Lydia, and we were almost able to feel her emotions through the text.  We all agreed the audience was targeted at the United States, the medical field, and the victims of Hurricane Katrina and Hurricane Rita.  Lydia, the main character, seemed to be a soft-spoken, kind woman which made her triumph feel even more victorious.

3. The writing we have done in our life has mostly included writing stories and essays.  The tone of Lydia's story was essentially a personal narrative which felt as though it was being told by a friend.  She uses words such as "slender" and "neat" to describe the character, giving a clear image of her.  It's a personal experience which differs from a generic interview or essay, because it includes more emotion than facts.  This story teaches us about rhetoric because it gives us a clear idea of the effects of tone, stance, etc...

4/5/6. "Think About"

*Stories my mom tells me at breakfast (or during the morning)

*Stories my brother shares about school

*Stories my friends tell me at school

*Text messages

*Stories on the Bainbridge Islanders Facebook page

*Telling someone a story from your life

*Telling your parents about your day at school

*Parents tell you about their day at school

*Stories from books, magazines & TV

7. We all re-tell our day, and share stories with the people in our lives.  We are also told stories by our parents and siblings.  All of us read books on a daily basis with narratives.  There are also other types of stories we experience that vary day by day.

8/9.  The "It Gets Better Project"

I personally find videos to be more personal, because you can see the person's emotions through the films.  However, there is a beauty to written narratives as the reader can better put themselves in the victim's shoes.

10. We can all agree that both are powerful mediums of narrative.  We all feel that videos are more effective at delivering a message because of the extra sensory information you receive.  To a certain extent, written stories can be meaningful, but videos can be more easily shared.

11/12.

*Newspaper Articles and YouTube videos (compare and contrast)

Newspaper articles are straight to the point and give factual information in terms most can understand.  There is little visual accompaniment, and it is more strictly formatted.  YouTube videos have equal part visual representation with the information they are relaying.  They are more stimulating due to the extra sensory information.  YouTube videos also can cover a wider variety of topics, and people are more freely able to give feedback via the comment section.  However, online videos are not always as directly informative as newspapers.  In addition, YouTube videos are more easily shared within areas that have internet access.  Despite the difference between YouTube videos and newspaper articles, they are used to communicate, and often have advertisements within them.  They both are used to share information and ideas.

Chapter 2 (Page 23)

Rhetorical Situations of the Past 7 Days:

Texting

Notes (1)

Essays (2)

Facebook Posting (3)

Emailing

Blogging

1.) Throughout the week I tend to write notes specifically for myself, so generally the audience is just me. I’ll grab a piece a paper with pen in hand, and write out bullet points with facts I deem to be important for current, or future work. Note-taking keeps me on my toes with the lessons, and helps me understand the teachings, so that I’m not facing massive confusion later on, or I could fall back on my notes if I don’t recall a topic.

2.) Last week I had to write an essay on what I hoped to learn about myself from the class, and then post it on the class forums, so the audience in this case is still the class. In order for me to answer this I had to state my purpose for being in that subject, and how I thought it could better myself. When I had a good idea of what to write I did it in a casual, but direct tone. That way the reader would understand what I seek through the lessons as well as my goals in the class.

3.) I’m being honest when I say I use Facebook daily for a bit of posting, sharing, browsing, or messaging. Mostly my audience consists of friends, family, strangers, buddies, or acquaintances, so the tone varies indefinitely. However for these past 7 days I’ve been commenting on other people’s posts whether they were factual, opinion based, or comical just to give my ”two cents” about it. The tone is usually casual because I like to set myself an image of how I want others to see me as a person, so I also keep my stance on things pretty neutral.